Balazs Abraham
A valley in the morning: cleared land with dead trunks and torn-open earth on the left, untouched green forest and meadow on the right

The distance to the Moon has become shorter than the distance from one human soul to another.

We learned to master the world before we learned to see what rules us from within. But now we have a tool to change direction — from destruction towards supporting life.

Enter the worldBegin with a film
A single figure walking away through a meadow in the first light, with something second standing in the mist behind

Something moves us that we cannot see.

People pressed close together in a train carriage, each one alone, and among them something taller that nobody reacts to

We have forgotten how to look.

A child looking out through an open door, and behind it, in the warm light of the hallway, a tall dark figure

Every child still knows how.

A woman stands alone at a kitchen counter in the evening in the light of one lamp, and on the wall behind her stands a large shadow she is not casting

Behind it stands something older.

An empty, strictly ordered room in cold daylight, a faceless figure seated at the head of the table

What is missing, we replace with power.

A mother and her child in a kitchen, both looking down, and between them a large dark figure neither of them notices

And we pass on what we cannot see.

Two adults standing close and facing each other in a lamplit living room, one of them with a hand half raised; at the edge of the frame a child stands in the doorway watching them
Seen from above, a dense ring of people around an empty sunlit square, every shadow reaching inward towards one person standing alone in the middle
An immense crowd reaching to the horizon, split by one narrow empty strip running from the foreground into the haze
A wide view from a hill across a city at dusk; two fires burn among the houses with their smoke standing in columns, and high in the sky a loose formation of small aircraft crosses
An enormous cleared plain seen from high above, the ground worked into a grid all the way to the horizon, single trees left standing between the lines
A man stands at the edge of a dark wood looking in, and as you go through, small warm points of light come on deep among the trunks

At some point you go in.

A man stands upright at the edge of a completely still lake, looking down at his own reflection, and as you watch, the reflection stops matching him: it stands bowed, its head lowered

First you see what you repeat.

A woman stands in morning light at the edge of a completely still lake, her head tipped back and her open hand held low — and the four pictures before this were pieces of this one

And then, all at once, you see it.

A woman stands in morning light at the edge of a completely still lake, her head tipped back and her open hand held low — and the four pictures before this were pieces of this one

What we do to the world begins in what we do not understand in ourselves.

Understanding changes what we repeat.

What we stop repeating changes what we pass on.

How it is done

Learning to catch yourself repeating

This is not about looking more carefully, or being more curious. There are ways of making what is unconscious conscious — of recognising patterns and gradually understanding the forces behind them. This is one of them, and you can begin with it today.

  1. You may first notice sentences or expressions you repeat without knowing that you repeat them.
  2. Then you can step back and describe, more abstractly, what it is you keep doing.
  3. When you begin to recognise several of these, you may suddenly see that they are not separate at all — they form a pattern.
  4. Then you can ask what feeling, drive or inner force is keeping that pattern alive.
  5. Once you understand that, you can begin to change those unconscious patterns — so that the people around you are marked by less suffering and more success, and so that your own children start from better ground.

The turning point

Whether this way of thinking remains alive depends greatly on the kind of relationship children experience between their parents.

Where getting to know and understand the other person is at the heart of the relationship, this way of thinking can remain alive.

Where appearance dominates the choice of a partner and the relationship, this way of thinking can gradually become suppressed.

Read more about what I mean by love
On the left a young couple at a party looking past each other; on the right an older man and a woman laughing together, a dog beside them

Love comes fromwhat is inside.

When someone’s inner world makes your life trulysafer, better, brighter and kinder —love grows out of that all by itself.

It is not lovebecause of appearance.

Looks fade.Money can disappear.Age changes.Beauty attracts, but it is not enough.

It is lovebecause of who they are.

They make your life better.They bring peace, kindness and growth.You can rely on them when things go wrong.Their knowledge, wisdom and presence enrich you.You become a happier, better version of yourself.

You fall in love with someone’s inner world —not their appearance.

Two people of different ages sit facing each other at a table in lamplight, a dark figure standing quietly behind each of them

When you meet someone,you see their face.But do you see who they are?

What do they do when they don’t get what they want —e.g., do they become aggressive?

When you meet someone, do you see who they are?

The kind of relationship children experience between their parents can influence whether their natural curiosity and drive to understand themselves, other people and the world remain alive or gradually become suppressed.

Here you can learn it again.

Every film, conversation, and story reveals another part of the same world. There is no required order. Begin wherever something speaks to you.

On the left an older man and a young woman sit under a lamp looking at each other; on the right a boy points at a ladybird on a mossy log

To see every personas a wonder —

and to ask what happened in their lifethat brought them to where they are now.

A child sees wonderin everything.

To keep that wonder alive —and never stop asking why

An ordinary street corner in the last light, a lit window, a chair somebody left outside, nobody there

The wonder is everywhere.

It might be in the play of the wind,or in the way the chair gentlyrocks back and forth,making a soft soundthat entertains you.

The world is full of life

all around you —waiting to be discovered.

Featured film

A person sitting alone in low window light, head lowered

Break the chain of suffering that is passed down from generation to generation.

Pain that is never understood does not simply disappear. It can move through relationships, families, beliefs, and generations. This film begins with a simple question: what becomes possible when we finally turn toward it?

Watch the film
Three generations sit close together in the tall grass in evening light, and behind them several dark figures stand quietly

Hatred

I transformed it into Care.

Fear

I turned it into Courage.

Possessiveness

I changed it, and today I possessthe friendship of people.

Loneliness

I transformed it into Connection.

This is what it looks likewhen we find ourselves again.

The same valley, the same division — and far off in the meadow a small group of people is standing

What decides which world remains?

An open invitation

The gate already exists.

A world based on understanding is livable. You do not have to surrender who you are in order to find your place within it. The question is not whether another way is possible. The question is whether you will enter.

Continue exploring